"Michaela May: Programmer Extraordinaire"

   Michaela May was born on May 8, 1981, in Alberta, Canada.   She was the child of an alcoholic father, Michael Morrill, and Sally Warner.   Raised in the harsh Arctic wilderness by endangered Canadian wolves, Michaela learned early on the value of killing men for food.  Ever wondered why Physics AP has 6 fewer male students now?????

    Michaela immigrated to the U.S. in 1990 after an unsuccessful campaign for Canadian Prime Minister.  She entered Columbia High School in 1995 and immediately found her voice in C++ code.

    "I fell in love with C++ immediately," May mused.  "I felt that for loops, if statements, and polymorphism allowed me to express my true emotions better than anything else."

    "Michaela is not a good programmer," Mr. George Binder, Michaela's C++ instructor, commented later.   "I guess - for a girl - she's not too bad, though."

    "I don't think she's completed a working program all year," agreed Owen Baker, a dork.

    "Shut up," was Michaela's response.

    Although Michaela "sucks" at programming - in the parlance of classmate Ezra Klughaupt - she does derive pleasure from it.  "And that's what counts," Michaela defended.   "Object oriented programming makes me giddy."