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Northwestern Quotes, 2002-2003

So, you might infer by "Northwestern Quotes" that all these quotes come from people who attend Northwestern. You'd also be wrong. In fact it's a composite of all non-quiz bowl and professor quotes that come in during my Northwestern tenure. I'd been adding to 01-02, but now that the school year is upon us, it's time to start another one. So here you go.

Current suite tally, this year only: Drew 13, Marc 5, Dave 1, Ric 1, Rich 1.

    Continued dual quotage:
   At Shannon's party, speculation on why Fallon had not showed up yet:
    Shannon: "Maybe Fallon got mugged!"
    Chris N.: "By a girl! That would actually make his day."

"I'd say about three out of eight of those are real."
--- Jon Fallon on the four female Elimidate contestants

"It's just unfair. I mean, if there were some way for WNUR Sports to make $130 a week... like a Northwestern sports interviewing contest..."
--- Nemo, complaining about the quiz bowl team's dominance of 1800 Club Trivia Night

    More dual quotage! In fact, triple quotage:
   I say something involving "you" to Drew, which he defends himself against not realizing I mean the "collective you."
    Marc: "That was quite the argument there!"
    Flax: "Whatever, it's just Drew feeling the need to correct everything I say."
    Drew: "I don't correct everyth-" [realizes]

"Weapon of choice: the finger."
--- NJ Dave, describing my comeback arsenal

"I'm not really qualified for any of these, but this one, it's like, 'Must have experience at doing something.'"
--- Drew on looking for jobs

    A dual quote, for the first time ever!
    Watching the end of "Back to the Future Part III," where Marty wakes Jennifer up by kissing her:
   Rich: "I'd like to wake up to someone making out with me."
    Drew: "Leave your door unlocked."

"I'll just go, 'Yeah, I got contacts.'"
--- Pete on using Rich's Wildcard to get into SPAC

"This is a big 'fuck you' to all vodka tonic drinkers."
--- Marc, on a crossword I put on his door, one of whose clues was "tonic's partner," to which the answer was gin

"She was asking me, 'What's the reputation of this sorority? What's the reputation of this sorority?' I'm like, 'Sluts, sluts, sluts.'"
--- Drew on being quizzed by a freshman girl at his work

"I just want to sit around and be a social gadfly. Is that so wrong?"
--- Drew

"I might change your name, though. To Sebastian."
--- Drew on talking me up to girls

"I have the immune system of, like, ten bulls."
--- Drew on not catching the flu from his girlfriend

"I'd be intimidated if I had a dog like that. Like, this dog's way cooler than I am."
--- Drew on the bad-ass collie in 101 Dalmatians

"Is her mindframe, 'Well, I'm not respectable, might as well run with that?'"
--- Marian on Britney Spears' decision to take movie roles where she plays white trash

"You could extend it. 'Booo-yah!'"
--- NJ Dave, trying to spell boo-yah with the three o's he was dealt in a Scrabble turn

"That was gently smooth, minister sir!"
--- Marc, filling in Suite Mad Libs with words supplied by me and Drew

"Here's an island: drop booty."
--- Marc with more Suite Mad Libs

"I could say that Clausen is in a pickle."
--- Tormey, watching Pearl play with Tennessee during the NCAA 2003 tournament

"I dare you to put that on your quotes page."
--- Drew, after I made a comment that he and Rich found hilarious but which was rather lewd

"Or just get plain vanilla extract and drink the entire bottle."
--- Drew, after Bill said that Coke with vanilla syrup was better than Vanilla Coke

"You hope I marry a Gretchen? I hope you marry a Bertha."
--- Drew, to Rich

"A clothes-on make-out party... just a nice, classy affair. All we're gonna do is make out."
--- Drew, perhaps describing his prudish alternative to an orgy

"Well, Alabama has bigger wang per capita."
--- NU Dave, after a dispute between him and Drew ended with the disclosure that Minnesota was bigger than Alabama in both area and population

"Probably... it's a pretty big country."
--- Marc, asked if he thought he could get ass if he went to Europe

"Actually, I did know what you mean until you asked, 'Do you know what I mean?'"
--- Pearl, after Tang said "I think we should take Nemo back a rack of ribs, if you know what I mean"

"You're the all-time do-names-with guy."
--- Pearl

"I'd put it right up there with 'Little Black Backpack,' wouldn't you?"
--- Bill, in response to my calling Pachelbel's 'Canon in D' a one-hit wonder

"It's kind of like liking a band before they're famous."
--- Drew on finding teenage girls attractive

"This one's going to the house, Flax... you're gonna feel like a dickhead then."
--- Rudnik, when I realized I was still in the OACR as NU prepared to kick off instead of downstairs doing highlights

"If that's bad-ass, then call me Captain... Bad-Ass."
--- Marc after I jokingly referred to having his name on lots of buddy lists as "bad-ass"

"I'm going to urinate on you if you don't admit who peed, Jose Cuervos or me."
--- Drew

"He has to be the first career graduate student to have his dad move him in."
--- Ric, on Marc

"I'm not even trying to get laid - and that's a first for me, 'cause usually I'm just trying to stick my dick up in something."
--- NJ Dave on his recent pursuit of a relationship

"I jack off to 3LW videos."
--- NJ Dave on not necessarily needing porn for "inspiration"

"I'd make out with most of the 'Arthur' characters. Including D.W."
--- Marian

(complete as of 09 December 2003)