Professor Quotes, 2002-2003
I am a quote-writing machine, and some of my professors are quote-making machines. I don't think this year (or possibly any year) will produce another Mark Witte, but you never know. Here, then, junior year prof quotes.
"The readings for each day are due that
day, so you're already behind! Bunch of damn slackers."
--- History of Film professor Scott Curtis, going over the syllabus on
the first day of class
"See, if I don't know your name, I at least know
the intimate details of your life."
--- Professor Curtis, remembering facts about a student whose name he
could not come up with
"And we all know that Evanston was the epicenter
of this movement, having been dry until, like, last Thursday."
--- Professor Curtis on Prohibition and the WCTU's Evanston
headquarters
"You go to the cineplex today, you see slides.
You think it's a new thing - 'Jeez, when did they start this?' Well, they
started it around 1911."
--- Professor Curtis
"Hitchcock, and Freud. And Dali. And
Gregory Peck and... Ingrid Bergman. Oh baby!"
--- Professor Curtis on Spellbound
"It's instructive to compare Nosferatu
with Buffy the Vampire Slayer... which I'm glad to do!"
--- Professor Curtis
"He's only worked with great cinematographers,
great editors, great, um... John Williams."
--- Studies in Film Authorship professor Lester Friedman on the crew
Spielberg surrounds himself with
"I just had three sentences without finishing one
of them."
--- Professor Friedman
"The only analogy I can see is if a dead Sam
Peckinpah asked Woody Allen to finish up a film for him. ... 'Can you finish this up for
me, Wood-man?'"
--- Professor Friedman on Kubrick choosing Spielberg to finish A.I.
"And we all know dreams are anarytical.
When you tell someone - is there such a word as 'anarytical?' Where the hell did I
get that?"
--- Professor Friedman
"They are supposed to be that. Spielberg
says they are that. They look suspiciously like the... aliens in Close
Encounters!"
--- Professor Friedman on the supposed mecha at the end of A.I.
"Talk about auto-eroticism! Ha ha
ha!"
--- Professor Friedman on the film Crash, which is about
people who get off by being involved in car crashes
"He's going to visit synagogues in Cuba - that
should be a short visit."
--- Professor Friedman on Spielberg's 2002 trip to Cuba
"Where does Belloq get that dress? Does he
just keep it around in case women drop by?"
--- Professor Friedman on a strange plot hole in Raiders of the
Lost Ark
"It's easy to use the Nazis, we all hate them -
unless you're in the Klan..."
--- Professor Friedman on the villains in Raiders and Last
Crusade
"Certainly have the reading done by the exam
date. Or don't!"
--- American Government and Politics professor Jeffery Jenkins, asked
if the reading should be finished for a class or week
"It has occurred to me that 20 years from now that
might be the only thing you remember, but at least I've done my duty according to
the faculty handbook."
--- Fundamentals of Anthropology professor William Irons on making sure
we remember that the course is controversial
"This is a nifty exam question, by the way."
--- Professor Irons, dropping hints while discussing Evolutionary
Stable Strategies
"You don't know that? Of course, I don't
either."
--- Professor Irons, disappointed at not receiving a response to a
question he had
"They're sending evil spirits... but that's okay,
I'm going to raid their village."
--- Professor Irons, blaming other anthropologists for his trouble with
the slide show
(complete as of 11 February 2003)