The Great Chicagoland Mini Golf Odyssey - July 22, 2006

   When you get sort of obsessed with something - say, miniature golf - you tend to do things that other people might think were kind of crazy.  I was getting a haircut on Friday, and the guy asked me if I had any big plans for the weekend.  I told him that my girlfriend and I were planning on taking a tour of miniature golf courses in the Chicagoland area.  I'm pretty sure he immediately changed the subject.
    Yet that is, in fact, exactly what Alma and I planned to do.  Why?  Well, why not?  I like mini golf, Alma likes mini golf, we both like to do things that are fun, and it seemed like a nice little experience to try, and get in some of the area courses we hadn't yet been to (and yes, I do eventually plan to hit all of them).  However, after completing eight courses in nine hours, and taking 376 strokes on 144 holes, I can honestly say that eight is too high a number of courses to play in one day.

Course #1 - Par King Black (Lincolnshire)

Alma and I started at Par King, our old mainstay; this is now the sixth time we've played it, and it was our fourth time on the black course.  We arrived at about ten minutes to 11:00, and pretty much no one was there, which isn't surprising when you consider that Par King opens at 10:30.  I had put us arriving at 10:30 in the schedule, but since I budgeted 45 minutes a course, I figured we could make that up on most of the courses.  And in fact, it took both of us just half an hour to complete the Black course.  No doubt it helped that I made par and Alma had her lowest total score ever (50).  My putting let me down a little bit on the front nine, as I took 4s at the second and the seventh; my score of 22 was the worst on the Black course since the first time I played it and took 26.  However, I did manage to record three holes-in-one, at 3, 8, and 9.  I stepped up to ten, the "Satellite" hole, knowing that I had never failed to make a hole-in-one there in three previous attempts; I think I psyched myself out, though, and the ball ended up an inch away from the hole.  I was forced to tap in for two; Alma, hitting next, did knock in an ace.  So at least the trend continued of one person always getting an ace at that hole.  Alma also aced #3, the "Old Mill," which has a hole-in-one track that's pretty easy to hit as long as you can hit a ball straight, so we combined for five aces, which I believe ties the record set at Congo River in Kenosha last week.  One-over entering the back nine, I thankfully mastered the Jack-o-Lantern at #12, making birdie 2, but gave the shot back at the next hole, Mt. Rushmore.  Entering the roulette wheel at one-over, I dropped in for two and managed to make par for just the second time.  Alma took a six on the last hole, which means she really played significantly better than her final score indicates - which is true, and all the more impressive since it was her best score up to that point even with the six.  Combine that with her bad luck having balls just lip off the edge of the hole that would have saved pars at 14, 15, 16, and 17, and you have to say this was a great round for her, if perhaps a little disappointing in retrospect, score-wise.  Still, Par King is always fun, and with both of us playing well we were feeling good moving on to the next course.

Course #2 - Cozzi's Adventure Golf (Lake Zurich)

Due to some construction on Half Day Road, we arrived ten minutes later than I had planned in the itinerary.  And really, that would have been no problem except that we subsequently got stuck behind two of the slowest moving groups in existence.  The group directly in front of us was a father, a mother, their daughter who was probably five years old or so, and then a baby in a stroller.  Who brings an entire stroller to the miniature golf course?  They were forever rolling it across the greens and then parking it just off to the side.  A far worse crime, of course, was the fact that none of the three could throw the ball in the ocean, and the mother kept on replacing the girl's ball and letting her take shot after shot, even when she continued to somehow hit the ball away from the hole when it was placed an inch away.  Now, that's fine - you can't expect little kids to be ace mini golf players, and certainly it's designed as much for them as for me (I guess).  But when Alma politely asked if it would be okay if we played through, the guy actually said no!  His reason: there was another group in front of them which was also playing fairly slow, so ultimately it wouldn't make a difference.  Hey, guess what, guy: we would have asked them if we could play through too!  And they probably would have let us!  And then maybe we could have gotten off this course in 30 minutes instead of an hour, because you don't know anything about miniature golf etiquette!
    Okay, I'm done.  The course itself was all right; at least it was reasonably attractive, with a lot of water running around that attracted various birds, so we had something to look at during the interminable waits for the next hole.  The par of 40 is probably a little small, though I didn't play that badly in relation to it considering it was my first time on the course.  I also had a nice shot on #17 when it looked like I was stuck just behind a rock on the green; somehow I curved the ball just around the obstruction and it rolled into the hole to save par.  Alma also played well; if not for an unfortunate 6 at a tricky #8, she would have led at the turn, and despite a couple bad holes on the back nine, she finished with a respectable 55.

Course #3 - Twin Links North Course (Mount Prospect)

Following the Cozzi's debacle and lunch at Culver's, we found ourselves 45 minutes behind, and by the time a longer-than-forecast-by-Google-Maps drive to Mount Prospect had been completed, we were nearly an hour late by the time we arrived at Twin Links at 2 pm.  Fortunately, there was absolutely no one on the course - not literally, but there were only a couple groups and they were well ahead by the time we started.  We breezed through the North Course in just over 20 minutes.  It helps when you're playing great; I made par on both nines, and Alma tied her own record - set two rounds prior - for lowest total score with 50, and set a new record for lowest score in relation to par (+7).  We put up seven birdies between us and no scores worse than 4, which is always nice.

Course #4 - Twin Links South Course (Mount Prospect)

I think this was where I started feeling it.  Four courses is already a lot of mini golf to play in one day, and it doesn't help when you're trying to hustle to make up time.  We completed the south course in under half an hour, as there was no one out on it either, but our scores shot up from the first course; I went 22 out and 24 back - frankly, it's amazing that I came back in just +1 when I had three fours on the card, which happened because I made 2s on all six other holes - while Alma took a five on the way out and a six on the way in, ending up with a 57.  I've never played the south course especially well, truth be told - since making par in my first attempt during last year's tournament, I've taken scores of 48, 45, and now 46.

Course #5 - Mountain View Mine (Des Plaines)

Now we were just 15 minutes behind, though it got to 20 by the time we reached Mountain View Mine.  Drew and I had played this course on Thursday and not done very well; he commented that he would be shocked if I didn't break his "course record" of 52.  As it turned out, I couldn't even break my personal record of 53, finishing one shot off that at 54.  I'm not a huge fan of the contouring at Mountain View, but regardless, my putting just let me down.  I took three double-bogey fours on the back nine (threes on those holes and I could have had the course record), struggled to a five at the fifth (a ridiculously hard hole, but I could probably have played it better), and in general took too many threes on par 2s.  I managed just one birdie, at the par-3 eleventh; Alma got the first hole-in-one in our Mountain View history (and possibly the last after this attempt), but her dropoff in play was similar to mine, taking tough consecutive sixes at #5 and #6, and ending the round with four straight 4s.

Course #6 - Putt-Putt Fun Center Course 3 (Elk Grove Village)

The Putt-Putt course was kind of depressing, and in a residual bad mood from Mountain View, Alma and I moped our way through the two we played.  We made it through the two courses in under an hour, but there was nothing to look at and nowhere to sit down, making it kind of a tiresome experience.  I opened the third course, supposedly the middle in terms of difficulty, with an ace, but sank back to reality with a 5 on the next hole, which featured a completely unreasonable slanted cup.  I played okay after that with the exception of a four at the 13th, but even though I made another ace at 17, I finished eight shots over - the par on every hole at Putt-Putt is two, meaning that if you aren't carding ace after ace, there's absolutely no margin for error if you want to approach par.  Alma also carded two aces, at 11 and 13.

Course #7 - Putt-Putt Fun Center Course 1 (Elk Grove Village)

I actually played a shot worse on Course 1, supposedly the "easy" course.  Alma and I had another two aces each - once again, I started the course with one - but more sloped cups, awful hole placements, and other indignities confined me to a 45.  Alma improved significantly with a 51, but she was pretty happy to be done with such a miserable-looking course.

Course #8 - River View Miniature Golf (St. Charles)

After a rest-and-snacks stop at Krispy Kreme, we were once again 45 minutes behind the plan.  We were scheduled to have two more stops, as I had not known that Putt-Putt featured multiple courses, but now we no longer felt compelled to play both of those remaining, as only one would get us to eight.  The weather ended up making the decision for us.  Clouds had begun to roll in, and as we drove along Golf Road towards Hoffman Estates, it began to rain.  Looking south and seeing that the weather appeared better there, we decided to forego the Congo River in Hoffman Estates and head straight to St. Charles.  Despite initially driving past the street that headed to Pottawatomie Park (as it was a very small street and hard to notice until you were upon it), we made it to River View just ten minutes behind schedule.  Sadly, by this point, Alma and I were both pretty tired, and miniature golf is probably not something you want to do because you feel like you have to.  I missed innumerable short putts, including two in a row to take a horrifying triple-bogey on #10.  After a rough first nine, though, we took a deep breath and calmed down for the back nine.  Alma charged in with a 22, just one over, thanks to two holes-in-one; I added another ace as we both holed out at #12 (which had an easily reachable hole-in-one track), but we finished at 55 and 59.  Perhaps fittingly, it was the fewest number of strokes between us all day, as well as my worst score and Alma's second-worst.  We got out of the park about ten minutes before it started pouring, so at least we were left unscathed by the weather for the entire trip.

Summing Up

All in all, it was an interesting experience, but not one I need to have again.  Four or five courses, maybe; that might still be fun, but as we learned from this trip, anything more just seems like overkill.  It would also be nice to make sure I'm playing courses I actually enjoy; obviously you can't reach all the new places if you're going to do that, but most of the new courses on this trip just ended up aggravating me, and where's the fun in that?  At least I was with Alma all day.  Ultimately she probably helped keep me sane; can you imagine if I'd tried this thing myself?  Woof.