Ann B. Davis Tournament at U of Michigan, 1.19.03

Results: No Points, Only Shame (Northwestern A)
(Colby Burnett, Robert Flaxman, Shannon Mok, Andy Seputis)

    We only finished seventh at Ann B. Davis, which is one spot better than last year but totally frustrating because we ended up with four losses and could fairly easily have had only two (and definitely should have had only three).  I was #2 in scoring in the round robin in our division (the Joy Division, as opposed to the Robbery Homicide Division), which more than likely puts me in the top five overall - a drop from last year's third place finish but still pretty good.  At any rate, I love Trash, so ABD is always a good time.  Plus I won a Get Fuzzy calendar, probably the best prize I will ever receive for finishing high in scoring at a Trash tournament.
    Another good thing was the fact that our packet was left completely intact, just about.  Our packet was combined with the C team's packet, if by "combined with" you mean "had one of Jordan's bonuses added from."  Otherwise it was all us.  It led off with my tossup on "The 3," which the guy in the room I was reading for got on the last word of power.
    Favorite Tossup: As usual, it's Trash.  I powered Nyla, University of Pittsburgh, and Rock Star, but my favorites would probably be the song plots (Scenes from an Italian Restaurant; Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show) and just about anything I got reasonably quick if not for power (Pepsi Blue, Rod Stewart, M. Night Shyamalan, the Fusilli Jerry, Andy Capp, Troy Glaus, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Jermaine O'Neal, and of course, Lisa Simpson).
    Favorite Bonus: "Complete the UHF quote" was priceless.  "You get to drink from the firehose!"  "Stupid!  You're so stupid!" and "The turtle is nature's suction cup."  But I have to say The Princess and the Warrior because of the incredible ass-pullage.  40-30-20-10-1, name the movie.  40, whatever.  30, "its tagline is" something in German ending in "liebe."  So I'm like, well, that's love, so it's not Run Lola Run.  How about The Princess and the Warrior (made by the same people as Lola rennt and the only other recent German film I could think of)?  Uh, yeah, 30.
    Worst Neg: It's a tossup between Pleasantville for Big Rock Candy Mountain and Family Guy for Sea Lab 2021, both of which were made on horrendous leaps of logic.  I'll say the former because it probably helped to cost us a match against one of the better teams in our division.
    Most Disappointing Moment: It's Tia and the TRASHmen's revenge!  Leading the Men from Nantucket (whom we beat 230-160 last year) 300-280 going into the last tossup, we don't get it (it's Gremlins; I sat on it because they said "the title critter" which totally threw me off as clearly "Gremlins" is a plural), and they 20 the bonus to win 310-300.  The worst part is they probably wouldn't have 20d it had Rich Gannon going to Delaware not come up in a question at MLK the day before.
    Bye, DePauw DG: I finally silenced Colby by going for 100 points against DePauw's B team, thus bumping my 90 points against the DePauw DG sorority at last year's Duck Bowl off the list for Best Trash Round.
    Update (1/22): I finished fourth overall in scoring with 51.11 ppg in the round robin.  This is of course inaccurate; I went 2-48-4, not 1-46-3 as credited, but as with last year, it wouldn't have moved me up.  I was indeed second to Craig in the division.  Speaking of Craig...
    What the Fuck: Craig's team, They Shoot Mascots, Don't They, went 5-4 in the round robin but proceeded to win the tournament after sneaking into the playoffs.  That's fine in and of itself, but schedule analysis has revealed that their four losses were to the following teams: Gerbils (right), Buckner (right), Children of the Corn, and A Case of the Mondays.  Uh... what?  If you read below you'll note that we defeated the latter two teams by a combined 825-255 score.  Mondays only had one win in the round robin... and it was against Craig?  How is this possible?   I'll grant that Craig didn't have much backup, but he defeated the Gerbils with only two tossups and presumed bonus help from the rest of his team in the finals; you're telling me he couldn't take a team that I could have defeated single-handedly?   The worst part is that had we beaten Craig's team, we could have made the top six playoff round and maybe had a small shot at the title game.  After all, our division didn't lose a single playoff game (it was clearly the tougher bracket) and we could have beaten Buckner, which clearly wasn't as good as its 9-0 record would otherwise indicate.  (After all, they got their bell rung in the Mascots rematch in the semis.)

Prelim Rounds (Round Robin)

Round One: BYE
Round Two: No Points, Only Shame 211, Orrington Lunt? I Don't Even Know Her 125
Round Three: Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Gerbils 452, No Points, Only Shame 130
Round Four: No Points, Only Shame 440, Children of the Corn 160
Round Five: No Points, Only Shame 385, A Case of the Mondays 95
Round Six: No Points, Only Shame 395, DUCKS B 50
Round Seven: BYE
Round Eight: No Points, Only Shame 260, Hoosier Daddies 150
Round Nine: Bill Buckner Death Squad 301, No Points, Only Shame 230
Round Ten: The Men from Nantucket 310, No Points, Only Shame 300
Round Eleven: They Shoot Mascots, Don't They 331, No Points, Only Shame 175

Prelims Record: 5-4 (fourth place, Joy Division)

Playoffs (placement game)

Round One: #J4 No Points, Only Shame 420, #R4 Shelby Foote Soldiers v. 3.1 170

Final Record: 6-4 (seventh out of 21 teams)

Personal Stats: Questions Answered

   No one's asking you to care about it.  Powers are in bold, as are questions where the points had built up (with points netted noted); neg-5s are in italics with the real answer following.  Anything in plain text was just ten.

Round Two
Seabiscuit
Moonstruck
Luke and Laura
Pepsi Blue
Jimmy Kimmel
Busch Gardens Virginia
Rochester Royals
Rod Stewart

Round Three
Lauren Bacall
Semisonic

Round Four
Orlando Bloom
Mike Davis
Northwest Airlines
Second String
M. Night Shyamalan

Round Five
Vijay Singh
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant
Joe Pantoliano
Curtis Martin
Dapper Dan
World Cup mascots
Triathlon

Round Six
Georges Vezina
Nigel
Vogon poetry
Pacific Coast League
Nyla
Kelvin Sampson
Kevin Pollak
Robitussin
Family Guy (really Sea Lab 2021)
The Fusilli Jerry
Ginger Rogers

Round Eight
Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Brent Spiner
University of Pittsburgh
Erika Christensen
Bill Fitch

Round Nine
Opus
Ugly Naked Guy
Pleasantville (really Big Rock Candy Mountain)
Treebeard (really Tom Bombadil)
Barbara Hershey
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Lawn gnomes

Round Ten
Robert Rodriguez
Andy Capp
Sonny Lubick

Round Eleven
Julianne Moore
Bob Fosse
Troy Glaus
About Schmidt
Ron Popeil (really Billy Mays)
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Prelims PPG: 54.44

Playoff Round
Jermaine O'Neal
Joey Fatone
Eva Marie Saint
Tyne Daly
Lisa Simpson
Rock Star

Playoffs PPG: 65.00

Overall PPG: 55.50