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June 27, 2000

   Yesterday was my high school graduation. Originally it was scheduled to be held outdoors at our school's athletic field, but 1) there was apparently a 50% chance of thunderstorms for the afternoon, and 2) someone realized that, hey, it was going to be pretty damn hot and we didn't want people's grandparents collapsing.
    And it was. In fact, it was disgustingly hot and humid at my sister's middle school graduation, and that was held at ten in the morning. My graduation was at 5:30 in the evening, and it was certainly no less hot then than it had been earlier. Adding to this was the pre-graduation area, in which almost 400 kids in red robes and black mortarboards were standing around in a cramped space that certainly didn't make things any cooler.
    The graduation was held at Essex County College in Newark, a rather annoying place to get to because of the city traffic, but its gym (in which the actual ceremony was held) had the compensating virtue of being air-conditioned, albeit lightly. (We had previously been warned that sweating while sitting in our robes was likely to cause them to bleed all over our clothing. We had also been directed to wear nice clothing; go figure.)
    Graduation was largely boring. It consisted mostly of speeches interspersed with musical numbers, followed by the moment at which we all went up on stage when our names were called, only to receive an empty folder - we had to go get our diplomas later on, which ostensibly was to prevent people from doing anything stupid like mooning the audience.

    Later on came Midnight Madness, the post-graduation event monitored by the school and held at a secret location every year. This was unquestionably a monument to inefficiency. Someone explain to me the logic in making well over 300 kids divide up into groups of ten to get on buses when the groups of ten would not be used for anything after that? Meanwhile, we're all down in close quarters in the cafeteria, sweating profusely, begging the parents to just let us get on the damn bus already.
    Midnight Madness itself was pretty fun, though I must confess that after the first three or four hours (and it ran for almost seven) there was not much left to do but sign yearbooks (which I did, so fine). I will expand here upon the events of Midnight Madness.
    One of the first things I did (along with Owen, Redd, Gabby, and Qawi, with whom I was allied for much of the time) was go on the Bungee Run. Picture a moonwalk with a divider down the center and no top and with harnesses attached to bungee cords at the back and you pretty well have the Bungee Run. I must admit that never am I made more nervous when participating in an activity as when I have to sign a release form before doing so, particularly one that essentially says, "If you die, don't say we didn't warn you." Also I lost the competition aspect of the run to Ray, and if there's one person you don't want to lose to in anything, it's definitely him. The upside was that despite a few good jerks, my neck did not break.
    Then came the Velcro Obstacle Course, which was immensely fun, and as fun as it was stupid. It was another glorified moonwalk - in this one, you slide down a tube, then run through some upright structures (I'm not even sure what to call them), then scale a wall, and then jump through "wheels" and land on a mat at the end. The whole thing, if you do it right, takes about fifteen seconds, if that.
    Of course, a lot of us didn't do it right. See, here's the thing. You're wearing a suit covered in the hook part of Velcro, and the wall is covered in the loops. This means that without a clean jump over the wall, you're going to get stuck somewhere. Possibly everywhere, as Gabby did while racing Redd. I went through the course six times, and only twice was I able to finish first - both times against people bigger than me. Qawi, on the other hand, smoked me twice.
    The other fun thing was the casino. Not a real casino, mind you, but an air-conditioned room (bonus!) in which you could play blackjack, craps, and roulette. After losing at blackjack and struggling to even understand craps, I went to the roulette table. This was by far the most enjoyable game there. It was just amusing to play, and unlike craps, I understood it quickly despite not knowing a thing about it when I walked in. It got to the point where I actually knew more about the scoring of it than the guy who was running it. But perhaps the funniest thing was that in lieu of a ball, they were using a peanut M+M.

So now to sum up (finally): graduation boring, but hey, I'm out. Midnight Madness amusing so long as there were new things to be done, which ended up not being too long, but I got to hang out with my friends, so it was fine. It was certainly a lot more fun than prom, at which there was even less to do and not all of my friends were there. (The food at Midnight Madness was pretty bad too, but it was saved by the croissants they gave us - at four o'clock in the morning. That's when I normally eat breakfast! Plus they'd served us dinner at 10:30...)
Pictures from Midnight Madness (the Bungee Run, the Velcro course, and everyone being tired at five in the morning) will appear as soon as I get them back, which may not be until the weekend. But I'm sure you can wait until then.

Just a reminder: between July 6 and July 26, I will be in Australia and New Zealand. Thus, this page will not get updated in the least during that time. Aww. However, expect to be bombarded with data and photos when I return, which should constitute enough upgrading to last you all through August as well.

June 23, 2000

   I'm actually writing this at 5:30 in the morning because I just got home from the prom. What an incredibly underwhelming experience that was.
    Seriously, if you don't have a significant other, there's almost no reason to go to your senior prom. I "went" with a friend of mine because her date had backed out on her and I had been forced to jettison mine, and I was going to not go at all until she called me up and suggested that we might as well go together.
    What a waste of time the actual prom was. I essentially spent five hours walking around talking to people, if you don't count the small amount of time I spent eating the horrible horrible food or "dancing" (remember that I'm about as white as they come).
    Essentially, this was just - for me, anyway - a glorified dance that cost me $50 to go plus God-knows-what in tuxedo rental. The whole thing was kind of redeemed by a nice slow dance at the end (not with my date, ironically enough), but in general I could probably think of more fun ways to spend five hours.

The after-prom entertainment was a lot better - we drove into the city (well, the limo did) and went to Dangerfield's, a comedy club. Of the five guys in our group, only two (myself and Brendan Connerty) escaped ridicule of some form from the comedians. The acts were pretty funny, though, so it didn't really matter (plus I didn't get made fun of, so what the hell do I care?).
Perhaps the funniest part was how we got in. We pulled up at 1:30 or something to find numerous other limos outside and a long line waiting to get in. We went to the front of the line to check it out (since we had reservations), only to find out that everyone in the line had reservations just like we did. At this point Brendan slipped the bouncer $20, and we were inside in no time at all (pissing off everyone in line to no end).

Also funny was just the whole driving around in the limo, telling jokes and such - since we had two very funny guys in Brendan and Ryan Sciaino in the limo. Thus we were able to amuse ourselves in the long intervals between home and the prom, the prom and the club, and the club and home.

To sum up: prom bad, comedy good. That would just be the cut-and-dry version, of course. I mean, the prom wasn't bad, but like I said, if you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend, it just doesn't mean the same to you. I'm going to see all these people at Midnight Madness (the after-graduation affair) anyway, and it doesn't mean that much to me to see them dressed like penguins. I'm not going to say, don't go to your senior prom just because you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend, because you might have a great time. I'm sure some people who aren't committed in a relationship did in fact have a great time. Me, I guess I'm just far too cynical for my own good - or maybe I just expected too much. Either way, it's 5:40 now, and I think I'll go to bed, for I have said enough for one night.

"You make Forrest Gump look like Tupac."
--- Dangerfield's comedian to Ryan Sciaino after Ryan crossed the stage in front of him to get back to his seat. The same comedian later invited Ryan back up on stage announcing that he was determined to "get him laid" by the end of the night.

June 21, 2000

Here is an amusing episode which took place in and around the TV studio green room at school a week or two ago. Mike Witriol, whom nobody can stand, always tries to eat lunch in the TV studio, even though he is not now in a TV class, nor will he be next year. Nor was he this year, come to think of it. (He had an independent study for a while, in which he... sat in the green room and ate lunch.)
Matt James, Darrin Bann and myself had gotten to the green room before Witriol on this particular day, so I closed and bolted the front door of the green room so that he couldn't get in. Not that he didn't try.

[Knock at the door]
Me: Who is it?
Witriol: Witriol.
Matt James: Wrong answer!
[We all laugh. Pause.]
Witriol [trying to be slick]: I have my SAT scores...
Me: Just slide 'em under the door.
[Pause. Another knock at the door.]
Me: Who is it?
Witriol [still trying to be slick, for some reason]: Redd.
Us: Nice try.
[We wait a minute or two. Witriol keeps knocking, so we all go out the back door and into the broadcast center.]

June 20, 2000

Yet one more reason to hate the Lakers: from the Internet Movie Database:
"Rioting Lakers fans attacked TV transmission trucks parked outside the L.A. Staples Center during their rampage following Monday night's NBA finals match. Police estimated that more than 5,000 fans were involved in the street violence."

And their team won.

June 19, 2000

   Perhaps you have seen the latest in Pepsi's "Joy of Cola" spots, the one featuring Einstein and, as usual, that obnoxious little girl. If you haven't, you can see it here.
    Now tell me there isn't something a little worrying about their theory. "Two things, similar in molecular constituency - but one is inherently superior." Hmmm. I'm no expert on these matters, but that sounds suspiciously like an argument that a Mr. Hitler used a while back.
    Fortunately, I prefer Coke in the first place.

June 16, 2000

   Want to hear something stupid? "Graduation isn't for you, it's for your parents." Will somebody please explain to me what exactly that is supposed to mean?
    Believe it or not, this was actually said by our high school's principal. And other members of the administration. It's our parents' graduation? Aren't we the ones who just finished four years of high school? If my parents want to have a graduation, they can travel back in time to the sixties and watch themselves graduate.
    I say, we should just all not go to graduation. Then, when our parents get there, they'll have to go and get our diplomas when our names are called. Maybe then it'll be more like their graduation.

June 13, 2000

   Lots of news that I haven't updated you with recently. We ended up finishing second in the state in the Rutgers Academic Challenge to Monsignor Donovan, who were just too fast on the buzzers in the quiz round. But we stole a plate of cookies when we left, so that was okay. Plus we all got big silver medals to wear around our necks, and I made five hundred bucks. So that kind of dulled the pain.
    The Quiz Bowl team went to Atlanta for the national tournament and finished very middle-of-the-pack, #25 out of 52 schools overall. But it was a good time, I guess, at least in the games we won. And I got to hang out in a hotel room with Owen, Frankel, and Bisberg, which is a lot more fun than it sounds like. You can read my journalistic tournament summary here.
    Also, tomorrow is the last real day of high school for me. I just have to go in on Friday to show a French video and on Tuesday to take one exam in a class in which I would be exempt with flying colors except my teacher doesn't believe in senior exemptions. Not that I won't ace the exam, but it's kind of a pain in the ass. Then comes prom and graduation, and then I go to New Zealand, and then I come back and lie around for a month, and then I go to college.
    It's kind of scary when I put it like that.

June 3, 2000

I went and saw Mission: Impossible 2 today with Gilbert and Owen. Owen thought it was really predictable, which I happen to agree with. Gil seemed to like it, but since his phone is busy 24/7 I couldn't ask him what he thought as I was writing this. Anyway, what I thought of the movie can be found in a fair amount of detail here: Movie Review: Mission: Impossible 2.

June 1, 2000

    Our team had advanced to the Northern Regional Finals of the Rutgers Academic Challenge (if you don't know what that is, that link should tell you), the academic part of which took place on April 11 and the quiz bowl part of which, which is taped at the NJN studios in Trenton, took place on May 31. Why the huge time lapse, I don't know - but I think it had something to do with AP tests and vacations and finals and blah. Whatever.
    Anyway, before the finals, the Rutgers people made every team member, plus our two faculty advisors, sign a confidentiality agreement agreeing that after the results and winner were announced at the taping on the 31st, we would not reveal to anyone what had happened until after the initial airing of the finals, which will be June 6th on NJN (at 1 pm and 6:30 pm, in case you want to watch).
    But here's the thing: the winning team moves on to compete in the state finals against the winners of the Central and Southern regions. The academic part of that round takes place June 2nd.
    So Rutgers made us promise we wouldn't tell anyone the result of a round that takes place on May 31st until after June 6th, even though on June 2nd it becomes pretty obvious who won and who didn't, since only one team is going to New Brunswick that day.

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This page last updated: Monday, April 15, 2002 07:59:27 PM