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June 29, 2005

   New site reorganization, as you may have noticed.  I decided - I think rightfully - that the "Ancient History" link really didn't belong on the main page (how many people ever clicked that one, anyway?), and moved it under "Surplus Flax".  I've also started a mini golf page, in complete loser fashion.  You don't even need to point it out; I'm fully owning up to it.  At any rate, the top line of links is now a sort of hobby list - blog, film reviews, quiz bowl, and mini golf - and the bottom line is links and site utilities - friends, forum, older stuff, and the search tool.  I think this works out pretty well, and I didn't even have to change the button layout like I did so many times in college.
    Also - you have only until the end of the night to vote in the music tournament's latest round over at bigflax.blogspot.com.  I'm going to put up a temporary button on the main page for as long as it runs so I don't have to worry about posting reminders here.

    A quick blog-rant in defense of the mini golf page.  Most of this page's readership is male, I'm sure (my guess would be that my regular female readers can be counted on one hand - and hi, Mom), and so you can understand where I'm going to start this.  A lot of people grow up thinking - or at least wishing - that one day they might be famous for something or other.  For most men, the preferred avenue for this fame would have been in some sport or other - usually baseball, basketball, or soccer, depending on your place of birth and neighborhood.  All kids who don't actually go on to play a sport professionally eventually give up this dream at one time or another, but this doesn't change the inherent fixation with sports that men tend to have.
    But here's the thing.  I was never very athletic or good at sports in any way, even as a kid.  Instead, I naturally retreated to the domain of the sports intellectual - the stats corner.  These were people who, by and large, were not successful at playing sports, so instead they put all their energy, even from a young age, into an obsession with watching, tracking, and recording the game.  (It's similar to my three-year relationship with the soccer team in high school as the cameraman.  I couldn't play it past the age of 8, but I could sure get the ball in a viewfinder.)
    This is who I have always been.  Ask Redd, for example, and he can verify that I kept meticulous stats in our sophomore year of high school when we had softball for a quarter of the year in gym.  As early as eighth grade, I was recording the scores and stats from the football games we played on the field at lunch; I even kept track of the scores of floor hockey games in gym class.  And in sophomore year I at least had other people who knew; in eighth grade, it was solely for my benefit.  (For that matter, let's not forget that I was even into making up stats for my own wholly invented baseball feats, as saved for posterity on the back of my baseball card costume.)
    Why?  Part of it was that I knew this was the only way my own meager sporting accomplishments would ever be recorded, but I took notes even when I did little.  The other part of me was just a recorder.  He needed to know how everything finished - and he still does.  I don't think there's a more obvious manifestation of my low-level OCD.
    So that's why the mini golf page exists.  There's the part of me, still, that wants to build up my fake sporting legend.  "Look - I shot five under par at Lighthouse in Waukegan!"  But there's that other part that just has to keep track.  Come out with me sometime - I'm always the one holding the scorecard.   This is not so much because I want to keep score, but because I have to keep score, to make sure it's right.  As for why I bothered to actually upload it to the web... well, first of all, I usually play with other people, so they can see their names too.  Plus I've actually included a section where I give a brief review of the courses, so if you want to go out you know which ones to hit.  Call it a public service.  And call me a loser if you want.  There's at least some part of me that enjoys doing this, whether it's compulsive or not - and I don't think anyone can truly be a loser if they're making themselves happy.  Who else am I out to impress, anyway?

June 21, 2005

   I promised new reviews, and here they are.  I'm still not caught up - I've got five more to write yet - but I'm on the way.  Reviews for Ocean's Twelve, Spanglish, and Cure are up.

    EDIT: We're down to four outstanding with the review of Mad Hot Ballroom.

June 20, 2005

   I was a little disappointed by the smallish turnout for the opening round of the song tournament, but I think with Craig's link it will gain some steam.  Anyway, for those who found it this way, the next set of matchups is now up.

    To paraphrase Nick Hornby in Fever Pitch, I will play miniature golf at any time, on any course, in any weather conditions.  (This last part is not really true, but it makes the paraphrase much neater.)  If it weren't so expensive (typically around seven dollars to play 18 holes) I imagine I would find myself playing it several times in succession at any given course.  One of the things that depresses me most about the Ric's lack of communication since he left Northwestern is that he is the only other person I have ever met who thought that a 36-hole mini-golf match play tournament was actually a fun idea.
    Alma and I played at a course near her house on Saturday, along with her sister and her sister's fiancé.  The place actually had two courses, and after we'd played the first it was asked whether we should play the other.  I said yes, but added, "Don't ask me, I could play all day."  We did indeed play the other 18; Alma's sister won that one by four shots after I fell apart on the back nine, but since I won the first 18 by seven, you could say I won overall by three shots.  You could also say I'm ridiculously competitive, and this is true.  (I insist on keeping score every time, so that I know it's right.  This is a sign not just of my competitive nature, but of my complete anal-retentiveness.)  Fortunately Alma knows this and can deal with it, and also is fairly competitive herself.
    So today we decided to go to this place in Morton Grove called the Par King.  But when we had gotten all the way out there, I noticed that there were no cars in the parking lot (the Par King lot?) and decided this was not a good sign.  Sure enough, it was closed for remodeling.  There is apparently a spinoff in Lincolnshire that is as cool, so we may go all the way over there later.  Today, however, that was out, so we ended up going to one in Skokie which, strangely enough, is run by the Park District.
    I played a very subpar (by which I mean over par) first three holes - Alma led by three shots, and it would have been more had she not taken a 6 on the second.  We went back and forth on the front nine and ended up tied at 30 - ten over a rather low par - at the turn.
    I played three shots better on the back nine (the par was also 20), and so finished at a "mere" 17 over (I was a total of ten over on the 36 holes on Saturday).  Alma had some tough holes on the back nine and closed with a 70.
    Because I know no one wants to see it, here's the scorecard!

The exclamation mark on 12 is due to the fact that my par putt was perfect and dropped into the hole... and then, because this course had a lot of very shallow cups, it hit the bottom and popped back out.  Alma insisted I count the tap-in, in her competitive way - and believe me, it's nice to know someone takes this game as seriously as I do.  But what a load of horseshit!  Stupid shallow cups.  That would never happen in real golf.
    Hole 17 was also pretty stupid.  Every hole had a theme of some global location - this was an African savanna watering hole, complete with huge fiberglass elephant taking up most of the hole.  Par was 2 (ha!).  My first shot went astray and ended up under the elephant; I used the club like a pool cue to hit the second shot and ended up right in front of the hole.  The hole, however, was inside the mouth of a goddamn hippopotamus.  So not only was there a slope up to the cup, but the inside was totally made of plastic and it was nearly impossible to get it right in.  My first shot bounced out; it hit my foot and came to rest about where it had been, and I don't care if that's against the rules because this hole sucked.
    Also, the course had a stroke limit of six that no one was adhering to.  At the 17th, we ended up waiting for a sizeable amount of time because the threesome that was two ahead of us ended up with scores including nine and seven (announced loudly and with much dramatic flair, hence why I know).  Can't these people read?  And/or see the three groups lining up behind them?   I'm always tempted to pull a Rory Sabbatini and just blow past groups like that to the next hole (when Alma, Marian and I played in New Jersey last summer, a group of teenagers who were clearly going to be on the course for five hours were just starting ahead of us... we ran ahead to the 2nd, then came back and played #1 after we were done.  Very good idea, believe me), but since the next hole was the last one, that was, sadly, not an option.
    I talk way too much about mini golf.  Considering that Drew and I have been talking about going out and playing, you may expect more entries like this in the future.  Wait!  Where are you going?  Okay, there will also be some new movie reviews too... eventually.

June 18, 2005

   Craig is currently running a tournament matching up the 128 best TV characters of all-time.  I'm not sure how the list was compiled - I think it was TV Guide or someone's list mixed with some wild cards.  It may not be the greatest list ever, but tournaments are fun.
    With that in mind, I myself am just beginning a tournament.  Rolling Stone had an issue a while back with the top 500 songs.  Craig took the top 192, organized them into regions, made a spreadsheet and everything... and then decided he didn't want to do it.  Well, consider it resurrected.  Voting begins today, right here!

June 13, 2005

   Guess who still isn't very good at updating.  Wow.  I actually got one of the seven movie reviews I was behind on done, though - so read all about The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which I saw on May 16, for crying out loud.
    Alma and I went out to Ohio over the weekend for the wedding of one of her classmates.  It wasn't too bad of a drive, and it was a nice ceremony, though it was held in the oldest Catholic church in Ohio, and church builders in 1818 clearly just didn't understand the modern need for air conditioning.  Alma and I danced a bit at the reception and I started thinking that I should probably let her drag me to some classes because it would be nice, for just once in my life, to have a slight idea what I was doing on anything that didn't just involve turning around in a circle.
    Fountains of Wayne's double album Out-of-State Plates comes out in two weeks.  At first I was really excited, but then I realized that "double album" rarely means "genuinely new material", and I've heard that in fact the 30 tracks are mostly rarities, live tracks, probably some outtake-type stuff.  I'm sure I'll still buy it so long as I have the cash, but I'm much more excited about the New Pornographers' upcoming release, Twin Cinema.  It doesn't come out until August freaking 23rd, though.  I also just found out they're scheduled to play the Metro on October 20.  Who's ready to make some really advanced plans??

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This page last updated: Thursday, June 30, 2005 02:12:14 AM