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May 31, 2004

Thank God Dolly Madison's Cinnamon Sweet Roll only cost 69 cents, because damn, it sucks major ass. I can't find a picture on the web, but let me just say: don't buy it. It smells repugnant and is almost entirely inedible. Blargh.
Capsules for American Splendor and Capturing the Friedmans, two of the more interesting films I've seen recently for various reasons, are now on the Netflix review page. It should be pointed out that these (as well as a couple other recent films) did not actually arrive via Netflix but were watched with Alma from Blockbuster (where her family has that Movie Pass thing that's basically attempting to stave off Netflix's advance in the market). They were, previous to these viewings, in my Netflix queue, however, so I count it. Anyway, I don't see the point in starting a third page for "reviews of films I saw not in the theater, but from Blockbuster and not Netflix specifically."

May 30, 2004

   Once again, it stormed, and rained so much that McCormick was closed off between Touhy and Howard (last week there were sizeable puddles in the right lane on both sides of the street there, so it may have been even worse this time).
    I went down to the Jewel on Pulaski because they actually sell Club Lemon and Rockshandy - it's beautiful that Alma's classmate gets me Lift from the Australian import store in Little Rock, don't get me wrong, but having a pretty good facsimile (and another flavor that's good too) just a few miles away is nice. I'm sure I was an interesting sight in the checkout line. "Can I get a price check on 20 bottles of British pop and one bottle of lighter fluid?"
    The latter was for Drew and Rich, who were having a mini-cookout on Rich's new mini-grill, which was out on the balcony (though it ended up filling the house with smoke anyway). I had a couple of ears of corn (which I had never had from off the grill before), a cheeseburger and a cheese dog. Good stuff. The rain coming down made things a little dodgy at times, but overall it wasn't bad. The funniest moment occurred when Drew attempted to make Mitch Hedberg joke into reality by tossing a Tostito onto the grill. When he went to flip it, though, it fell into the grill, and proceeded to spend the rest of the night burning slowly and making things smell kind of funny.
    Later, Alma and I watched Capturing the Friedmans. It's an interesting documentary, to be sure. Full thoughts will come along on the Netflix capsule page, though not until I've gathered them all.

May 28, 2004

The Des Plaines River crested in Gurnee a couple days ago after heavy rains. Alma and I were watching the news and seeing street intersections that we'd driven through on the way to Gurnee Mills that were now covered in water, along with the Gurnee Community Church, which we would always pass. Thursday we actually drove out that way, to find that - shock! - Grand Avenue was closed from Route 41 to IL-21. We went around because we had to, but from the Grand/21 intersection I could see the part of Grand that was closed, and could see that there was still a lot of water on the road further up the way. In addition, we drove over the river at one point and it was so high that it was almost all the way up to the top of the divider at the side of the road. I've never seen a river that high before (the only river we had in South Orange was some wussy branch of the Rahway, which even at its biggest swell was never even close to bursting its banks). There was also water soaking the wooded area along the right side of the road. I can't even explain it. I kept going "Oh my God, look at the water!" while Alma rolled her eyes and was like, "Yeah, honey, I see it."

May 17, 2004

Northfork finally arrived from Netflix four days after it was originally scheduled to show up. Considering the shipping center is in Carol Stream, it's kind of embarrassing that it took the DVD six days to get here - assuming it was shipped on the 11th as they claim - even if one of them was a Sunday. I'm going to watch that shortly, after which there'll be a review on the Netflix page, which I'm sure you all read. Ebert gave the film four stars, so hopefully it'll be worth the wait.
When I went by on Saturday night to check the mail one last time before heading to Alma's, I ran into someone I definitely was not expecting to see at Plex: Jan. That's right, Jan sighting. This is now more times than I've seen Jan online in at least six months, because when he got his job he apparently decided not to get the Internet. He said we should hang out this summer, and we should, except that he is really the least accessible person I have ever known, and was even last year when he still went here, because he lived at home. The last time he was consistently accessible was my sophomore year, because he was still on campus and so still had constant Internet service and a phone number that wasn't more likely to be answered by a grumpy Polish woman than Jan himself.

May 16, 2004

   Andy and Shannon don't seem to read this page much anymore, because the only person who's been complaining about the recent lack of updates is Alma. What can I say? Spring, not many updates. Here's the review for Troy. There, is that something?
   Recently Alma and her classmates had a little get-together where Alma brought this self-contained karaoke machine. There were a lot of songs I'd never heard of and for some reason there were one-hit wonders whose listed song was not their one hit. (Rockwell's one entry, for instance, was not "Somebody's Watching Me." I mean, if "Stairway to Heaven" can show up in there, there shouldn't be a single song whose rights are a problem to obtain, least of all the 1980s' shittiest one-hit wonder. And who the fuck is actually going to be able to karaoke "Knife" besides Rockwell himself? I bet even Berry Gordy has forgotten how that shit went by now. Sure, they give you the words, but unless you know how they fit with the tune you're really not going to be able to do much with them.)
    The machine also scores you - not on singing on key, say (not that I had much problem with that, thankfully, but you'd think that would be kinda important), but on how close you got to the rhythm of the words that the machine had recorded (which was not always correct, I should note, as I got mediocre scores on some of my favorite songs). I took the prize at the party (note: no actual prize awarded) for getting a 97 on a mysteriously-abbreviated version of Steely Dan's "Reelin' in the Years" (I started out higher than I should have and thus had to sing the chorus in a lower octave, though I stayed on key - proof that you are only judged on rhythm). For some reason the version did not have the third verse. This would be semi-understandable - maybe they just didn't want to waste all that time with the guitar solo and instrumental part - except that no other song featured such clipping. "Hotel California," for example, features the entire 87-minute outro which comes after all singing has been completed and therefore was totally unnecessary in a karaoke setting. By comparison, the breakdown in "Reelin'" is less than a minute long (though the last 40 seconds of the song are also lyric-less). It makes so little sense I've been entertaining the alternate theory that I accidentally hit the stop button just after the second chorus ended (the cutoff did seem kind of abrupt). I'll have to try it again next time I'm up there.
    Even better, I'll have to see how they do "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida," which would be the real test of just how hideously long one would allow a karaoke song to get.

May 10, 2004

It is fucking hot in this room, and I'm sure it's only going to get worse. I'd open the window, but bugs would get in, and I'd rather be hot than covered in spiders and the ever-omnipresent ladybugs. Still, gah.

For some reason, I was inspired to create a list of my Top Ten Least Favorite Sports Moments, which I posted on Rotten Tomatoes. I reprint it here for your amusement, as I'm sure regular readers like Rudnik, Nemo, and Tyler will know what I'm talking about. (Oh, to be clear, these are only ones I witnessed, as there are obviously others that would be on here if I could include anything, like, say, Game Five of the 1984 NLCS, and such.)

Honorable Mention: Columbia vs. Roxbury, 1999 State Sectional Finals
This is honorable mention because it only means anything to me, really. In high school I was the official cameraman for the boys' soccer team, since I liked going to the games, I did TV stuff anyway, and I liked following the sport (it helped that they were our school's premier sports program, having actually won a couple state titles and having a legendary coach). My junior year, the team won the state title in Group 4. My senior year, they weren't as good, but the bigger problem was running into the worst officiating I've ever seen. Roxbury went up 1-0 on their home field, but we came back and tied the score, and then went up 2-1 on just a fantastic goal near the end of the first half. The referees then swallowed their whistles and allowed about ten more minutes of stoppage time than should have been played to run off. To give you an idea of just how much the fix was in, the whistle finally blew just seconds after Roxbury scored the inevitable tying goal. Fortunately, nothing happened in the second half, but the overtime was just gross - there's no "golden goal" in high school, and Roxbury scored not once but three times - the third with only a minute or two to play and which they celebrated as wildly as though it had been a golden goal. Total fuckers. Later on, I was entering the game into our programming listing - the computer couldn't find Roxbury. Its first spell-check suggestion? "Robbery." I couldn't agree more.

10. 2002 World Cup - USA vs. Poland
It's only tenth because the US still made the knockout stages thanks to South Korea's upset of Portugal. But it's on here because it was so incredibly disappointing. We all thought the US could win and take the #1 spot in the group, but instead we got an embarrassing defeat. I have particularly bad memories of this one because it was on the day I left college for home. Facing a long car trip for which I figured I'd have to do some of the driving, I went to sleep and woke up early to watch this rather than stay up all night as I'd been doing. I woke up late, as it turned out, and by the time I got downstairs we were already in a 2-0 hole. It didn't get any better; I might as well have gotten that extra hour of sleep. Thank God World Cup 2006 is in Germany so the games can be played at slightly more reasonable times here.

9. Game 4, 2002 NBA Western Conference Finals - Kings vs. Lakers
Yeah, Game Seven sucked, but the most infuriating moment of an infuriating series was Robert Horry's blind-luck finding of the ball at the top of the key when the Kings had the game won and would have been up 3-1 in the series. Turned the entire series around, really; Game Seven would never have been able to happen had this one gone to Sac-town.

8. 2002 World Cup Quarterfinals - USA vs. Germany
At least the US played a good game mostly, but Oliver Kahn was just impossible to beat. I'm among the few Americans who has no problem watching a 1-0 soccer game and not complaining, but to lose like that when playing the better game was aggravating, to say nothing of the denied South Korea rematch.

7. Game 4, 1996 World Series - Braves vs. Yankees
Fuck you, Jim Leyritz.

6. Game 7, 2003 ALCS - Red Sox vs. Yankeesi
Fuck you, Aaron Boone.

5. Game 1, 1996 ALCS - Orioles vs. Yankees
Fuck you, Jeffrey Maier. This would be higher if it weren't for the fact that, officially, I had no direct stake in it.

4. 2000 Alamo Bowl - Northwestern vs. Nebraskai
It's bad enough I already hated Nebraska. This was the most exciting season at Northwestern since 1995 and maybe the most exciting season in NU history - despite only an 8-3 record, there were some incredible wins, including the 47-44 game at Wisconsin that started it all and the wild 54-51 win over Michigan (during which I was stuck in the WNUR basement doing highlights, so I saw none of it). The only game I actually went to all season was the Purdue home game - the first Big Ten loss. Perhaps I should have known better, then, than to go to the Alamo Bowl, but I did. And I saw the ugliest 66-17 pasting. My God, it was horrible. And it came at the hands of a team I already loathed. Just a depressing, depressing affair.

3. Game 7, 2003 NLCS - Cubs vs. Marlins
Theoretically, this should be higher, but it was one of those Game 7s like in the 1986 World Series - after what happened in Game Six, a loss was almost assured. Of course, the Cubs had to go and get my hopes up with a 5-3 lead, only to choke it away, losing 9-6.

2. Game 7, 1994 NHL Eastern Conference Finals - Devils vs. Rangers
A couple years ago, this would easily have been my #1. And it's still my least favorite call of all-time (Gary Thorne's repeated yelling of "Matteau!"). But with the Devils winning three Cups since 1994 and the Rangers habitually floundering, it's hard to muster up the same emotion for this that I once could. Not that this isn't a pretty high spot.

1. Game 6, 2003 NLCS - Cubs vs. Marlins
Count me among the guys who don't blame Steve Bartman. Just about anyone would have done the same in his position, and you saw all the people who were going for the ball along with him - if it hadn't been him, it would have been someone else. Give the guy a break. That said, this game - specifically, the eighth inning - was just the most excruciating, painful, "I can't believe I'm watching this" moment of my entire sports-following life. Seeing a 3-0 lead that had seemed untouchable slip away so fast and by so much - eight runs in one inning - was just shocking. Bill Simmons once did a column on the levels of losing - this one was easily a huge Stomach Punch, mixed in with a little bit of Dead Man Walking. Had the Cubs given up four runs in that inning, you could have seen them getting one or two in their next six outs - but after giving up eight there was just no way. It was certifiably over. And yet we still had to sit there through two more innings, just waiting to see the Cubs lose. No matter how many more playoff appearances the Cubs make in my lifetime, it's hard to believe I will ever witness another game this painful, unless they happen to do the exact same thing in Game Seven of a World Series.

As a random companion piece, here are my ten biggest moments of schadenfreude in sports history - where I was rooting more for the one team to lose than for the other to win, and actually got my wish. (Again, keeping it to games I watched.)

10. 2002 Rose Bowl - Miami vs. Nebraska
Truth be told, I'm no huge fan of Miami either, but everyone knew Nebraska didn't belong in this game and there they were anyway. Then came the pounding, and a lot of me laughing.

9. 2003 NCAA Tournament - #3 Marquette vs. #1 Kentucky
I really don't like Kentucky or Duke, as you'll see. I basically just hate teams that win too much, because I find it boring. But UK fans are also incredibly irritating (more so than the Duke fans I know). This game was great because not only did it keep Kentucky out of the Final Four, they really ended up getting kinda blown out.

8. 1999 NCAA Tournament - Connecticut vs. Duke
And there's Duke for you. I remember watching this with my dad and celebrating after Langdon missed the desperation heave.

7. 2004 NCAA Tournament - #9 UAB vs. #1 Kentucky
Okay, I actually didn't see this one because I was out getting my car fixed up. But I heard the result as soon as I got back and it was hilarious. It's always good to see Kentucky lose - but to a 9 seed, that's just brilliant.

6. 2002 World Cup final - Brazil vs. Germany
Basically like watching the Yankees play the Cardinals in the World Series. But I was pissed at Germany after the US game, as was my dad, and we celebrated Brazil's win, even if it meant they'd have to lose the next three World Cups just to get their percentage of titles down to a quarter.

5. 2002 NCAA Tournament - #5 Indiana vs. #1 Duke
This one I very clearly remember hugging my dad after. I don't have any great love for IU, but it was great to see Duke get upset, and get out-gutted by a "little-guy" type team.

4. 1999 NBA Finals
The Knicks should never have been in this series in the first place, and the Spurs proved it by running them off the floor in five games. Hilarious.

3. 2001 Fiesta Bowl - Oregon State vs. Notre Dame
I also don't like Notre Dame football, for the same reasons as Duke and Kentucky basketball. Except with ND, lately it's been more whining about why they haven't won in so long than bragging about winning. I was pissed that they made the BCS with such a lousy schedule in 2000, but Oregon State running them off the field 41-9 was a real treat to watch.

2. Game 5, 1995 ALDS - Mariners vs. Yankees
I'm not even sure how I knew to hate the Yankees, as they hadn't been in the playoffs since before I was born when this game happened. But I remember listening to it on WFAN and jumping up and down on my bed (it was a school night) when Edgar Martinez hit the shot into left field and Griffey came around from first. Later I saw the replay on Classic Sports and it was even better. I can still do Musberger's call: "Line drive, we are tied! Griffey... is coming around! In the corner's Bernie! He's gonna try to score! Here's the divisional championship! Mariners win it! Mariners win it!" Best thing about the video nowadays: a young Derek Jeter looking dejected in the dugout. Fuck you, Jeter.

1. Game 7, 2001 World Series - Diamondbacks vs. Yankees
Well, no shit. You can't hate the Yankees as much as I do and not absolutely love this finish. Mariano Rivera finally falls apart at just the right time. And after the Yankee fans were so happy about their damn home runs. Fuck you, Yankee fans.

May 1, 2004

I just found out tonight that Tyler, TRASH teammate extraordinaire, has a LiveJournal, so some more content for you compulsive checkers of Friends sections.

   Here's a game I saw in Alma's blog (via her friend's blog) a while back, which I'll do now because I'm bored. Better late than never:
"1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions."
   The nearest book of any kind was Across This Land, the textbook for my geography course. The sentence: "The character of the Eastern Townships was stamped even more boldly with the arrival of thousands of British immigrants in the early decades of the 19th century."
   Woo, right? The closest fiction book is Deception Point, Dan Brown's worst novel (least enjoyable? Whatever). The sentence: "The pilot began to slow." Dan Brown does not write long sentences.

There's more! View last month's updates.

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This page last updated: Tuesday, June 01, 2004 10:16:14 AM