Welcome to BigFlax.com!

September 28, 2000

   For some reason, my mailing list has repeatedly been the target of people who think they're really funny.  The most recent example would be the three names currently at the end of the file (though not for long): "robert@bigflax.com", "r-flaxman@nwu.edu", and "robert@flaxman.com".  Now, I don't think I'd be going very far out on a limb to suggest that it was in fact Owen who did this, for a couple reasons.
    1) He's done it in the past.
    2) He didn't know my e-mail wasn't @nwu.edu until I told him yesterday.
Yet on the other hand, Owen of all people should know that putting bogus names in my mailing list won't make me send mail to them, since the mailing list isn't automated.
    Not like I've sent much out on the mailing list recently.

September 28, 2000

   It's hard to believe that I have yet to even be here two weeks (tomorrow will be two weeks since my arrival on campus).   It really seems like a lot longer.
    I've managed to perfect the art of getting all your classes really close to each other.  Here's my travel time to get to all of my classes:

    That really is just beautiful.  I actually left the dorm at 8:58 this morning and still made my logic class at nine with a few seconds to spare (though I confess that a little running was involved, but not much).

September 26, 2000

   Aside from Australia (where every third landmark is named "Macquarie") and Atlanta (where every other street is named "Peachtree"), the Northwestern campus is the most confusing place I've ever been to in terms of the use of many similar names for landmarks.  In this case, it is generally buildings.
    For example: the dorm I live in is 1835 Hinman, which is both the name and the address.  It is generally referred to as "Hinman."  BUT there is a dorm all the way on the other side of campus called Hinman House.  If somebody were visiting you here, and you told them to come to Hinman, my guess is they would go to Hinman House and find themselves exactly the opposite of where you were.  But then again, you're kind of an asshole if you don't give more specific directions than the dorm.   "Ah, find it yourself."
    Frances Searle Building is on North Campus, located between Tech and SPAC, the Sports Pavilion and Aquatics Center.  Searle Hall is located on South Campus, a block or two from the Northwestern arch.
    Arthur Andersen Hall is on Sheridan Road, near the border between North and South Campus.  Harold Anderson Hall is located next to Welsh-Ryan Arena, which is about a mile west of campus.
    The residence known as 1856 Orrington is not located on Orrington Avenue.  It's not located on any street; it's between Chi Omega on Emerson Street (which also has an inexplicable Orrington address) and Alpha Phi on University Place.
    There's a Parkes Hall, and a Public Affairs Res College known as - you guessed it - PARC.  (This res college is so unwanted that if you list it as any choice on your housing form, even #6 out of 6, you're likely to be put there.)
    But by far, the worst offenders are the Swifts: there's Swift Hall, which pretty much falls between the library and Tech, and there's Annie May Swift Hall, which is right across from the library on its other side.  Annie May Swift is home to the School of Speech (and, more importantly, the WNUR studios); Swift is home to God knows what.  But this is so confusing to people that Annie May Swift had to put up a sign telling people who were looking for Swift that this was not in fact it.

    In other news, Week 5 NFL Predictions are up.

September 25, 2000

   Tonight was the New Student Week Quiz Bowl tournament.  Even though my team came in third (one short of the prize level), I had a pretty good time.  I was ticked off, though, because in the round we lost, although I'll grant the other team was pretty smart, I hesitated at least twice on stuff I knew, and the other team got all the geography bonuses.  Damn.
    Our team was a ragtag bunch of misfits assembled on the spot from people who didn't come with a team prepared.  One of the members was Sam, one of my apprentice buddies from WNUR.  We got stuck with the team name "Capitalist Running Dog Lackeys," which was dreamed up by someone who has either been reading too much Mao Tse-Tung or playing too much Sim City 2000.
    Anyway, I think I played pretty well even though we lost in our third game (but we kicked ass in our first two!).  Plus one of the NU Quiz Bowl guys looks and dresses a lot like Bisberg, which I found amusing.  I can't escape the Biz presence.

September 25, 2000

   All in all, it was a pretty good weekend.  The Bears lost, but NU won on Saturday, and I got to do the Big Ten Football roundup on WNUR's "The Sports Voice" on Sunday night, right after I got back from a Cubs game which the Cubs won 10-5 by scoring 7 runs in the bottom of the sixth.
    Today there was a guy on stilts outside of Norris.  I'm frightened.

September 23, 2000

   Go Cats!!!!  On my first day of apprentice training at WNUR, 89.3 FM in the Chicagoland area, the Wildcats pulled off an amazing double-overtime 47-44 win over the #7 Wisconsin Badgers.  Man, was there ever a party going on in that studio!  Plus I got to be on the air, albeit briefly and reading Olympic results.  If I'm included in the delayed webcast that will be up at www.wnur.org/sports later, I'll give you a link to it - I'd be somewhere near the end.

September 22, 2000

   It's eleven o'clock in the morning and already I have no classes until Monday.  This will cease to be true next week and the weeks following, when I will have a history discussion group later, but for now I get to feel real cool.
    That being said, it's time for a little wrap-up at the end of the first week of class (well, really only the first three days, but it is Friday, after all).

    Expository Writing: This was the first class I ever had at Northwestern.  It meets MWF (that's Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for you slow people) at ten in the morning.  Expos is cached away in University Library 3622, which took me about fifteen minutes to find on the first day because of how the library is organized, which is to say not well.  There are three towers, North, South, and East, and five floors (not including the "lower level") in the library.  The building as a whole is in fact even more confusing on the inside than it looks on the outside, which you wouldn't think would be possible because of how it looks on the outside.
    Here's a little map of what the third and fourth floors of University Library look like.  My class is in the East Tower on the third floor.  What this map doesn't show you is that there are classrooms, or at least rooms, all around the outside circumference of the towers.   Personally, I think that they've more or less forgotten that these rooms are there, which might explain the presence of a complete set of world maps from 1965 that adorn the walls of the classroom.  You know, the ones with two Vietnams, two Germanys, one Yugoslavia, one Soviet Union, and African countries like Upper Volta and Portuguese Guinea.

    Analysis and Performance of Literature: This one meets every day but Friday (that's MTWTh for you fast people) at one pm.  It seems like it's going to be a reasonably demanding class, as it requires memorizing large sections of text and delivering them to a group in a dramatic fashion.  Hopefully I won't get really nervous and pull another "happy feet" episode (Redd, Gil, and anyone else who was in my sophomore English class at Columbia will know what I mean; if you don't but want to, ask me and I might tell you).  Other than that, there's not much to say about this class, especially since I've already told you that its nickname is Anal Perf.

    Elementary Logic I: This is the earliest class I have, meeting at nine am TTh.  It's a big lecture class with a cap of 220.  The bad news is that the book costs $68.  The good news is that the class doesn't have a midterm or a final exam.  Suckers!

    History of England to 1688: This class starts ten minutes after Logic ends, but it's not much of a walk from Harris to Fisk.  In fact, not one of my classes is more than about a five-minute walk from the dorm or each other, although Logic to History is the only time I go straight from one class to another.  This is another interesting case for a few reasons.
    1) Like Anal Perf, there's a waiting list to get in.
    2) It's a 200-level class, yet I'm in it as a freshman.
    3) CAESAR screwed up its discussion sections.
    4) It has seven required books plus a packet.
All this sure makes for a good time.  I've still only bought five of the books (SBX didn't have the other two), and I have to get the packet as well.  But I don't have it again until Tuesday, so hakuna matata.

    I mentioned the library.  As I said, it's this huge, awkward structure, in which you could die and not be found for weeks.  Yet it's not even the most confusing building on campus - that honor, I'm told, goes to Tech, which is the third-largest building in the world, or the U.S., or on college campuses, or some superlative comparison like that.

    Here's a map of the entire Northwestern campus.   My dorm, 1835 Hinman, is highlighted in red, while the locations of my classes are in yellow.  As you can see, it's not much of a trip to any of them.

    Well, this was certainly a big update.  Good thing, too, because who knows how much time I'll get to write like this, what with the course material intensifying in the coming weeks.  I'm going to the Cubs game on Sunday, which probably means it will rain, but first and more importantly, I'm going to do some work at WNUR Sports on Saturday during the NU/Wisconsin football game, in preparation for hopefully getting on the air pretty soon.

September 19, 2000

   Week Four NFL Predictions are up.   In unrelated news, classes start tomorrow.

September 18, 2000

   Today was a beautiful day, which of course meant that I spent most of it indoors.  That's not actually that true - after breakfast I had an appointment with my faculty advisor at ten.  I first went to the registrar at the Rebecca Crown Center on Clark Street to pick up the course catalog, and then cut across campus in a diagonal path, arriving at Annie May Swift at nine.  This was, of course, way too early, but I wanted to at least have some inkling of what courses I might be able to mention to my advisor when he asked what I was interested in.
    As I sat outside, I could hear his conversation with another student, and he was giving the kid a hard time for not having any paper.  I promptly went back to the dorm and grabbed a notebook I had handy, which I ended up not needing anyway.   But better safe than sorry.
    The class I planned on taking (well, one of the four) as my General Speech requirement was Analysis and Performance of Literature (lovingly referred to as Anal Perf), which requires departmental consent to get into.  My advisor for some reason thought that this was a Communication Studies matter, so he sent me to 1815 Chicago, where, much to my chagrin, I was told that this was a Speech matter, sending me back to Annie May Swift before I could finally return to my dorm.
    After something called "Responsibilities 102" (which I'll elaborate on in a second), Matt and I went over to Norris and bought tickets for the Cubs game this Sunday.  Then we had lunch in the Hinman cafeteria (always an enjoyable experience) before I retired to my room for a couple hours or so.
    Then at three I had to make the ten-minute walk up to Tech (and then back) for something called "Responsibilities 103."  The Responsibilities courses are aptly named, since you can't register for winter quarter classes if you don't go to them.  However, for anyone who wants to skip out early, I can summarize the basic points offered in 102 and 103 (I don't go to 101 until tomorrow).

Responsibilities 102:
    * Don't sexually harass or assault anyone.
    * Don't drink too much, because bad people might take advantage of you.
    * Don't shower or burn your clothes after you get raped.
    * Dark places are dangerous.

Responsibilities 103:
    * Watch your shit.
    * Buy an expensive bike lock.
    * There's nobody that likes parties more than policemen. (direct quote from a sgt. in the Evanston PD)

    Meanwhile, my WildCARD still doesn't work (because I don't have the death wish required to stand in line for three hours).  Registration actually goes until nine tonight, so I may go back and see if the line is cleared up around dinner, when, hopefully, sane people will not be at the WildCARD office (although this begs the question - do sane people enjoy eating in the dining halls?).  I refuse to believe that there are so many people who need WildCARDs that the line doesn't get very small at some point between 8:30 am and nine at night.  Otherwise I'm going very early Wednesday morning.

September 15, 2000

   Here I am, with the first update from my dorm room at 1835 Hinman, Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois.  So far it doesn't feel too weird - but I get the feeling that once classes start the reality of the situation is likely to sink in a little more.
    But having not done a particularly large amount yet, I'd like to take this time to elaborate a touch on my trip here, a drive from South Orange to Chicago that took between 12 and 13 hours to make (though it should be noted that we stopped three times - once each in Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana).
    * Pennsylvania is long.  We entered it at maybe 11:30 in the morning, and we didn't get out of it for probably a good five hours - and this was going about 80 miles per hour the whole time.
    * Ohio sucks.  It's about 250 miles across, but I-80 merges with the Ohio Turnpike near the beginning, so you end up paying $8.30 for the privilege of crossing the state.  By comparison, Indiana is about 150 miles across but costs half as much.
    * Indiana's state slogan appears to "Crossroads of America."   I think it would be more aptly described as "Gateway to Illinois."
    * The most amazing thing is that when you're making this trip at night, Indiana is basically dark for 100 miles.  Then, about 50 miles from the Illinois line, the sky ahead of you starts to light up, as though the sun were rising.  First you think, "Maybe it's the moon, in some really weird position," or at least my mom did for a while.  Then you think, "Hey, wait a second, I bet that's the lights of Chicago lighting up the sky!"
    Then you get 20 miles further and realize that it's Gary, Indiana, and its steel mills.  Gary is probably the most carcinogenic city in the United States.   You can always smell when you're in Gary as long as your vents are set on "outside air" instead of "recirculate."  Gary's city slogan should be "Gateway to Chicago... and everywhere else."
    * You see the "Welcome to Chicago" sign but around you it still looks like Gary/East Chicago/Hammond, and you think, "What a gyp!"   But then the steel mills slowly evolve into more normal city fare.  And you see Comiskey Park, and you're on the Dan Ryan Expressway, and then it's 30 or 40 minutes later and you're still in Chicago.

    Just thought I'd favor you with those observations.   I've got my digital camera with me here at college, so I'll probably provide you with some images.  Speaking of which, if you've got a craving for Midnight Madness photos for some reason, get 'em now, but I may have to take them down for spatial concerns if/when I start putting up school photos.

September 13, 2000

   Well, it's a day of change.  I just saw my dad for possibly the last time for two and a half months, and my DSL connection may well be severed by noon.  I'm getting ready to leave for school tomorrow morning, which means that there may not be any updates of this page for a while, as I'll have better things to do.  On the other hand, there may be updates because I'll have more things to talk about, and probably a spare minute here and there.

    In unrelated news, Week 3 predictions are up.

September 9, 2000

   How 'bout them Cats!!  With a 38-5 (five?) victory over Duke today, Northwestern's football team has a 2-0 record to start the season for the first time since 1975.  That's right, the Cats have accomplished a feat they couldn't even pull in 1995 (I'm sure we all remember the infamous Miami-Ohio loss), the Rose Bowl season.
    Unfortunately, things don't get any easier.  Next week the Cats are at TCU, which is considered a prime candidate to go undefeated with record-breaking back LaDanian Tomlinson leading the charge.  This is just the first of three straight road games, as the Cats then travel to Wisconsin on the 23rd and Michigan State on the 30th.  NU won't have to face Ohio State or Penn State this year, but with those teams slumming a bit, perhaps it'd be better if they did.  The good news?  Neither Indiana, nor Minnesota, nor Iowa looks too good this year.  This could help the Cats improve on last year's 3-8, 1-7 Big Ten record.

    If you can't do math, I leave for school in five days.

September 6, 2000

   Big change on the Top 30 Movies page... I've decided recently that until X-Men and Frequency make their way onto video, they really have yet to prove themselves in my book.  So I've dropped them to nine and ten, respectively.  Meanwhile, Quiz Show has jumped to number two.

    In other news, there are now just eight days until I leave for school.

September 5, 2000

   NFL Week 2 predictions are up after an 11-4 record in Week One.

    In other news, there are now just nine days until I leave for school.

September 4, 2000

   Continuing with the recent kick on movies, and at Owen's suggestion, here comes the 15 Worst Movies I've Ever Seen.

September 4, 2000

   Well, I told myself at the beginning of the summer that I was going to see a lot of movies this summer, but I ended up seeing just three movies, two of which I didn't like.  I blame this partially on my three weeks out of the country, and partially on the fact that in August, which was when I was planning on seeing all the movies because I'd have little else to do, nothing was really good out.
    Which brings me to the point of this: it's BigFlax.com's "Upcoming Movies to See" (with current planned release dates).  I'll try to see (and thus review) most of them, but no promises.

    Nurse Betty (September 8): This movie's commercials are just too interesting to pass up.
    Almost Famous (September 15): Cameron Crowe's latest and getting dazzling advanced reviews.
    The Specials (September 22): Supposedly a better version of Mystery Men.
    Remember the Titans (September 29): Well, it does have Denzel Washington in it - no guarantees, though.
    Impostor (October 6): I admit it, I wanted to pick one a week for as long as I could.  But this one could be interesting - I thought the advanced trailer was, anyway.
    Dr. T and the Women (October 13): Robert Altman's latest.
    Bedazzled (October 20): The trailer was funny, and besides, it's a Cook/Moore remake.
    Lucky Numbers (October 27): Well, Travolta's in it.
    Legend of Bagger Vance (November 3): There's other big budget films out this day (for some reason), but I can't pass up Will Smith and Matt Damon in a movie about golf.
    Men of Honor (November 10): This looks exceedingly formulaic, but it was either this or the latest Adam Sandler movie, which looks horrifyingly bad.
    How The Grinch Stole Christmas (November 17): The 6th Day looks interesting as well, but how can you pass up Jim Carrey as a live-action version of the Grinch?
    Unbreakable (November 22): The latest Bruce Willis/M. Night Shyamalan collaboration.
    What Women Want (December 15): I had to stop with the one-a-week.  This one has Mel Gibson in it, but it's a comedy about a man who can hear what women are really thinking.  How can this not be funny?
    Thirteen Days (December 20): Okay, so maybe I'm biased because I did my junior thesis on the Cuban Missile Crisis, but this looks interesting.
    O Brother, Where Art Thou? (December 22): The latest from the Coen brothers.
    Cast Away (December 25): Well, it's Tom Hanks on a desert island.
    Left Behind (February 2, 2001): It could also suck, but it sounds interesting enough.
    Pearl Harbor (May 23, 2001): Of course, this might also be Titanic 2.
    Tomb Raider (June 15, 2001): Duh.
    A.I. (June 29, 2000): It's Spielberg and Kubrick.  Come on.
    Jurassic Park 3 (July 4, 2001): The first JP movie not based on a previously released book - and they brought back Sam Neill.
    The Visitor (July 4, 2001): Yes, this is the Planet of the Apes remake.  Could be interesting, but I'm not a big Mark Wahlberg fan on the other hand.
    The Fellowship of the Ring (December 14, 2001): Tolkien comes to the big screen.
    Star Wars Episode II (May 22, 2002): We don't know much about this one yet, but come on.
    The Matrix 2 (December 25, 2002): Ditto.

    For more on these movies, go to www.imdb.com.

    Conversely, here is my list of "Upcoming Movies to Avoid the Shit Out of."

    The Watcher (September 8): Something tells me Keanu Reeves as a serial killer will not be good.
    Urban Legends: Final Cut (September 22): Hey, it's Scream 3's plot without a single reason for its existence!
    Meet The Parents (October 6): I don't mind Ben Stiller, but this does not look good.
    The Ladies' Man (October 13): Knowing how bad Superstar, A Night at the Roxbury, and their ilk were, how did this ever get greenlighted?   The last good SNL sketch movie was Wayne's World.
    Everything coming out on Halloween, but particularly Blair Witch 2, which, if the plot is in fact "some other filmmakers decide to go into the Maryland woods," will probably be the worst movie ever made.
    Charlie's Angels (November 3): If you liked the updated Mod Squad movie, see this.  Otherwise, I just don't trust it to be any good, even with Bill Murray in it.
    Little Nicky (November 10): Sandler should have learned from Big Daddy and gone the high road.
    Rugrats in Paris: The Movie (November 17): Is there another Rugrats in Paris I should be aware of?
    102 Dalmatians (November 22): Don't even think of seeing this unless you're under eight.
    The Family Man (December 15): One of those Freaky Friday or Big-inspired comedies that I'll guarantee will have very little to it.
    Dracula 2000 (December 22): Yeah, I'll bet this is going to be good.
    Anti-Trust (January 12, 2001): Wow, it's The Firm meets Boiler Room.  In fact, forget Boiler Room.  The only thing it needs to have in common with that is the Gen-X cast.
    Valentine (February 14, 2001): A horror movie that's basically I Know What You Did Last Valentine's Day.  Need I go on?

    There are more, but I'm tired.

September 3, 2000

   Finally, a new movie review: Whipped.  This movie sucks.   Man, does it suck.

August 31, 2000

   Want to get money for doing nothing but leaving your Internet connection on?  Go here or here.  Better yet, go to both.

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